We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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