I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Randomize
