she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
