BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
