We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
