pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
