It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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