In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
