Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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