just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
