I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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