Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
