But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
