He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
