I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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