I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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