I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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