I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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