So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
