When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
