Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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