come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
