I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
