O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
