I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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