if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
