it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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