I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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