Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
