Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
