this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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