google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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