maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
