he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
