Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
