You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
