When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
