Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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