Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
