Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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