Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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