if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
