I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
