I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
