I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Randomize
