Having a random hookup so left but love u
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Randomize
