I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
