You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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