When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
