you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
