Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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